Random musings
It's kind of stupid to sit around thinking about hijab (because I don't sit around thinking about socks or sweaters ... wait, yes I do). But I have anyway.


Thoughts:

Even if you take religion out of it (because I don't care about that part, I admit it; people do stuff because God maybe said so, whatever, that's boring) there are really multilayered reasons for wearing hijab. My friend Imtenan tends to name a few that fit together: it forces people to treat her as a person, almost genderless, definitely without sexual overtones; it allows her to "save" a part of her beauty for those she chooses to share it with rather than the whole world (sort of the good-self-esteem version of why I would NEVER leave the house without a bra---or my mother without make-up); and (not said in so many words) it's important to her that she can be set apart, that people SEE Muslims and they aren't invisible or overlookable, that people can't just overwrite their "default" onto her.

I think she has really good points, with all of them. The first two really fit together. I definitely have never seen Imtenan as a potential sexual or romantic partner; it never even crossed my mind. I've basically never looked twice at her; she's purely a brain to me, if that makes sense. I love her brain, she's awesome, but that's as far as it goes.

But. I had some friends over for brunch recently, and Imtenan showed us a bunch of pictures of her without a scarf. And---wow. I actually felt like I maybe shouldn't be looking at them, because it *did* make me think sexual thoughts about her. Even though I see women's hair every day of my life (and when I look in the mirror), she's not "women." She's Imtenan. It's still a revelation to see her hair, specifically, and to see her whole face differently in the context of her hair.

And really, that's no different than when I switch from sweaters to t-shirts for the season and (EVERY YEAR) people say "oh my gosh, I didn't know you even owned t-shirts/had arms/didn't hibernate all summer!" I don't know what they expect (hello, winter =! summer), but it's a shock to the system when any norm changes. It makes you look at people differently. If my friend Denny put on pants, ever, it would blow my mind. But if other friends put on a skirt, that would be crazy weird. You know?

So, basically, the idea that she can heighten the impact of seeing her scarf-less by always wearing a scarf is absolutely true. And I don't think it's really any different than someone who always dresses "normally," but pulls out a low-cut dress or a negligee or even just a silk shirt on some special occasion. Or, for that matter, it's not much different from me wearing a bra no matter what, except that Imtenan's is a positive reason: she knows she's hot, and her hotness isn't for everyone. (I just don't love my boobs, and would rather no one that I haven't evaluated for "doesn't care about that crap" levels see 'em.) (Also, to be fair, she would NEVER phrase it that way, but I really do think there's a basic idea of personal awesomeness underlying it. Imtenan's as self-deprecating as any non-douchebag law student, but she really is "hiding her beauty," and that pretty much is how she conceptualizes it.)

I also think her third point is interesting. I ride the Toronto transit system all the time, and if Toronto is a multicultural city, the TTC is massively more so (because, let's face it, the white dudes all drive). I probably see people from the Middle East and North Africa every single day of my life here. I probably see Muslims every single day. And probably 85% of them are purely wallpaper to me. I'm knitting my sock, I'm listening to my iPod, I sort of notice there are other human beings around me but that's the extent, until someone sticks out. And, yes, I'll cop to it: women in hijab stand out. I notice them. And my brain is forced to go "Muslim." And as a white atheist culturally Christian North American, I think that's a really important thing. I don't think it should be anyone's main reason (insofar as it's my place to judge their reasons, which it's not), but as a bonus? It makes a lot of sense.

I do the same sort of thing sometimes; I put my rainbow bracelet on my backpack or wear my "Radical Feminist" shirt or get my hair cut extra short, because I just don't feel like letting people assume that I'm like them today. Because people do. And I get it; we don't have the processing time in our brains to think about every person and whether they're not actually what we're subconsciously assuming they are (which is, usually, "just like me in as many categories as possible"---so I don't assume cismen are ciswomen, because that's not a "possible" category, but do I have an underlying assumption that people I see are, say, English-speaking? Sure. And I probably think a lot more women that I see are gay than actually are. And I definitely think a lot more people that I see are liberal than actually are.

So ... yeah. On the one hand, I know Imtenan and Zahra and pretty much everyone with whom I've ever talked about hijab mostly just want the world to STOP FUCKING CARING SO MUCH, IT'S JUST CLOTHING, GET A GRIP. But I also think that if we can't get over it, then we should think about it in a productive way, and using the frames of the people who know WTF they're talking about (meaning Imtenan, not Rush Limbaugh). Maybe now that I've worked some of this through in my brain, I can indeed stop fucking caring so much.